As I read through this book, I realized I was not just learning practical tips on how to biblically reprove, discipline and train my children. Time and again, I was brought to examine my own heart in the context of training my children. As I finished the book, there were three main sin issues in my own life that God graciously brought to light, and I will expound on these here.

1. I do not have God's Word hidden in my heart as I ought.

One of Plowman's greatest arguments is that in order to truly get at our children's hearts in our teaching and training, we must be constantly speaking the Word of God to them. In every situation we address, from fights over toys to outbursts of anger, parents should always be armed with scripture to speak to our children in moments of correction. God's Word is what changes the hearts of sinners. Period. Hebrews 4:12 says,

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." If we truly desire to see our children come to see their need for Christ, then what greater gift can we give them than to faithfully speak the Word to them each day, specifically in context of their sin? God's Word is powerful to change hearts, even the hearts of children.

Enter conviction. I certainly can draw out a few scriptures when speaking to my children, but in reality, there's not much hidden away there in my heart. My first reaction was to make excuses. I have been sick after all. Two to three months of morning sickness really puts a slow on everything in my life, including the daily reading of God's Word. But honestly, I have not been pregnant all my life. I wasn't pregnant when I first put my hope in Christ at the age of 7. I didn't have morning sickness throughout my teenage years when I could have been using my time to study and know God's Word. I sadly realized that I have had a life of wasted time when it came to loving, treasuring and knowing God's Word. This was extremely difficult to come to terms with. After all, I am a Bible College graduate, married to a man who is studying to pursue full-time ministry. Shouldn't I be saturated in God's Word? Yes. But am I? Sadly, no.

2. I do not pray for my children as I ought.

There are (many) days I find myself completely exasperated. I talk to my fellow mother-friends about issues I have with my children, and we talk for hours on end on finding the right method of discipline that would be most effective for my child. I pour out my heart to my husband at the end of the day when I have faced yet another challenging day with my incredibly stubborn, high energy toddler. I whine. I complain. But I don't pray for my children. I do pray for my children in a general sense, that God would someday bring them to salvation, etc... but I don't REALLY pray for them. I don't pray for Daniel and Micah concerning specific trials we face, and for their hearts to be softened to my discipline.

And the best and most fruitful way that I can pray for my children is to pray for them directly from God's Word. It is to pray in harmony with God's perfect will for my children's' lives. I love how Plowman puts it, "When we pray from God's Word, we surrender our foolish misconceptions of what is best by acknowledging that God's ways are not our ways. To pray from the Scriptures is to seek the will of the Father rather than the will of the parent." I need to pray for my children, so much more!

3. I am not joyful in my heart when dealing with discipline issues, knowing it points them to Christ.

On our fifth or sixth conversation over some disobedience issue or another, I tend to get a bit aggravated. I start to feel a bit offended, really. How dare my son(s) directly disobey me, AGAIN! I return to the dishes that end up taking much to long to complete, angry. And I am to be joyful?! Really, now. Well the answer to that is yes. Plowman gently points out James 1:2-4:

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

I would definitely agree that training children in righteousness, disciplining them on a day to day, sometimes hour by hour basis is a trial. Without a doubt. But I am to consider it a joy to do this. Even if that is all I do some days. But why, exactly, is this a joy? Well, every time I take my child aside, discipline and reprove him, I am pointing my child to his need for Jesus and training him in His Word. If only we could view all of our children's sinful behaviors as precious opportunities to teach them, then we would all be far more joyful, and more righteous in our training. Pointing them to Christ, the greatest treasure of life, and only hope of their salvation is an incredible privilege! This is very easy to say, of course, and most difficult to achieve. However, we are to strive to have our attitudes be like that of the attitude of Christ, and we know that "his divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness" (2 Peter 1:3).

These three things were a bit difficult to deal with at first. But I know that I cannot dwell here in despair. Thanks to the incredible mercy and long-suffering patience of my Savior, I know that I can confess these things to Him and rely upon His strength to grow in these areas.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the spirit." Romans 8:1-4

Don't Make Me Count to Three: Part 1

As promised, I am finally setting out to write a few posts regarding how the Lord has been working in my heart. Unfortunately I am a sinner in constant need of correction. Fortunately, I have been saved from the bondage of sin through the death of Christ on my behalf, and therefore, I have great hope in the strength and power of God to help me overcome the sins that I so often struggle against. So, with that great hope in mind, I set forth to reveal what God has been showing me is in my heart, and share the encouragement He has given me through His Word and through the wisdom of others.

Most recently, God has used a wonderful book to convict and encourage me, the title of which happens to be the title of this post: Don't Make Me Count to Three: A Mom's Look At Heart-Oriented Discipline. This book is written by Ginger Plowman, and I intend for these next few posts to do a number a things: First, I hope to show how this book, although intended mainly to be a practical aide to mothers in the "trenches" of teaching and disciplining children, has brought three main issues of sin in my own heart to light. Second, I hope to basically give a review of the book, in that I intend to share all the wealth of incredibly helpful and practical information she gives for the day to day teaching and training of our children. Finally, I intend to expound on how drawing out the heart issues with our children, even when they are young, is incredibly important; and the practice of which, when saturated with the Word of God, will truly cause a great reward when it comes time for the harvest!

So I suppose this is to be a 4 part post. This first will serve simply as an introduction into what I hope will be a source of encouragement for others. This is, however, mainly for my own benefit. As I organize these thoughts in my mind and put to paper (or computer screen, I suppose) what I have gleaned from this book, I hope it will help these lessons stay with me well into my life as the mother of 3 beautiful children. May God also bless you as you read and consider. And also, go get this book fellow moms, and read it for yourself!! :)