Joy in Christ....even in the midst of Potty training!

Well we have plugged away at several more months here at the Johnson household! We found out that we are having another boy! We are so thrilled about that and decided that we are going to name him Micah Andrew. I am actually in my 31st week now and so we don't have too much longer to go! I am so thankful that by my 14th or 15th week my nausea subsided and these last few months I have actually had energy to keep up with our big guy, Daniel! Only recently have I been feeling the fatigue really start to come back. What with my big old belly and all I suppose it's about time! But other than that, I'm doing really well! I still have yet to get swollen feet or legs, and my fingers really only swelled up one time, but have since been back to normal and I'm still able to wear my wedding ring! This is a great accomplishment for me, since with my first pregnancy I would have long since been swollen all over, including in my face! So I thank God for that, as well as the fact that I have not gained near as much weight this time around, and should only hit about the 30-35 lbs mark for the whole pregnancy! That is about half the weight I gained with Daniel! Praise God!

In other news, I have begun potty training Daniel. He's 22 months old, and I really feel like it's time! I would like for him to be trained by the time Micah comes in about 2 more months, and I think 2 years old is plenty old enough to trained to use the toilet! We've been at it for 5 whole days now, and I must admit it is so much harder than I expected it to be! For the first 4 days we pretty much had zero success, and I was pretty close to throwing in the towel. I was growing more amazed by how short my fuse was with my son who suddenly decided that if he has to be toilet trained then he is NOT going to have a good attitude and will disobey mommy in all other aspects as well! I have had to discipline Daniel more times in these last few days than I have had to do in a long time! So I have been very, VERY frustrated and been feeling pretty hopeless.

Then I remembered my great God and how even mundane things like potty training are important to him. I know that I cannot do this on my own, and so I have been asking God for His help! I have been seeking much forgiveness as I have more than a few times lost my cool with my son, and I have also been seeking wisdom as to the best way to go about this proccess that will be most beneficial for my son. So today, day 5, God blessed our efforts and helped Daniel to go pee pee in the toilet 4 times! Daniel really seemed to start to understand more the sensation of needing to pee, and started understanding the feeling of the muscles he needs to use in order to go pee pee. So anyway, as exciting as that all is (it is for me, anyway!) we finally had a successful day! Of course we still had more accidents than successes, but I cannot complain.

God has been so faithful, and I am so much more aware of my need to turn to Him to help me, even in potty training! I am not going to make the mistake again of trying to do difficult things on my own. I simply need Christ for everything, including potty training my son!
A friend reminded me of this verse...
"I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1,2

And I have been reading Lamentations the last few days, just as a side note, and have been greatly encouraged as well by these verses:

"Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness! The Lord is my portion, says my soul. Therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:19-24

Here the author of Lamentations has been mourning for 3 chapters the destruction of Jerusalem and God's wrath upon the sins of Israel, and yet in the midst of this, he can call to mind the steadfast love of the Lord and His faithfulness and still have hope! Surely in the midst of my tiny, minute trial of potty training, I can remember the steadfast love and faithfulness of my great God and have hope!

Lord, you are so good to me despite what I deserve! Thank you for the joy of motherhood and thank you for the mundane trials of every day life, like potty training! For in them, you continue to show yourself faithful and good and continue to show me my great need for you!! More than anything I need to be reminded of this: I need Christ! In everything, In all things!

Good news!

Well, life has continued on in the Johnson household, and since I last wrote, much has happened!
First things first....

I'm Pregnant! :) Turns out shortly after my last post, we found out that we are expecting baby number 2! I am actually about 17 weeks along now, and just have a few more weeks to go until we find out if we are to have another boy or a girl! We are most certainly blessed and cannot wait to meet this new child God has given to us! What a wonderful responsibility we have been entrusted with to nurture and raise children up, teaching them God's Word and showing them the love and attributes of God in day to day life! It is a serious and grand task, but it is a privilege to be steward of God's precious children!

What started out joyous quickly became challenging as I almost immediately got sick just as with Daniel. I was throwing up 4-5 times daily, and just felt awful and exhausted constantly. I had little relief as Andrew had to continue plugging away with the semester and keep working both jobs! And about a month or so into this difficulty, we were face with more challenges...

Daniel somehow managed to fracture his left femur with a simple, seemingy normal, everyday fall that he took, right in our living room! We could not figure out what was wrong, as the last thing on my mind was that he would have broken his leg from such a simple fall! We took him in that night, only to find that nothing seemed wrong with him clinically, and were sent home without any answer. Daniel was in so much pain that night (poor guy!) that he did not get a single wink of sleep. Therefore, neither did his pregnant and very sick mommy.....! It took us almost 2 weeks before we finally got some answers and figured out he fractured his femur! In the meantime, Daniel had to pretty much be constantly held or just camp out on the couch with mommy...which worked pretty well considering how terrible I was feeling! But we had a very scary first time trip to the hospital where Daniel underwent a bone scan, for which he had to be put under anestesia! Very scary! Thank God he did just fine, and the bone scan proved to provide answers we needed! In the end, Daniel healed up just fine, but it was indeed a very frustrating month or so of trying to get answers and waiting for our little boy to start walking again! In the midst of all this, my poor husband had to continue to keep up with homework and work full time....he was exausted as well and ended up getting bronchitis....that was fun too!

Phew! But, God proved himself to be so faithful and give us the strength we needed to pull through! I learned so much about dealing with insurance and doctors....Ireally feel like maybe I am an adult! :) I also learned a lot about myself and how I react in the midst such trials. I had never before in my life gone through a trial like I have these past few months; at least nothing that tested me and pushed me as hard as this. And I found something out about myself during this test through the fire that I am not proud of. During all this, my time in the Word fizzled out to nothing. I did pray quite a bit, but I really did not cling to God as I should have....I tried to blame some of my sinfulness on my extreme nausea and fatigue, but really, that was not a valid excuse. I simply tried to get through each day on my own. Why?!! How often have I heard that we cannot do anything in our own strength? How often have I encouraged others who were going through a rough time to wholly depend on God? And yet, in the first big test of my life, I failed! I failed to continue to cherish my time with God and my relationship with Christ! I let the struggles of the day take front seat while Christ was left somewhere in the backseat! Why? How could I fail so miserably? All I know to answer that question is because I am a wretched sinner. I think I'm strong enough, but I'm not. But what blows me away more than my wretchedness is that despite my sin, Christ still brought me through. He still gave me strength and He still loves me! His blood still atones for me! I cannot understand it, but I will cling to that great and wonderful truth. And I know that this is a huge lesson learned. A hard lesson, but I pray that through the next storm, I will cling to Christ, and cherish his Word now with more vigor and enthusiasm then ever before.

May we all have ever growing, ever abounding joy in Christ!

What a life!

Well as you can tell, I'm not quite the consistent blogger, though I would like to be! Sheesh! Since I last wrote, my son started walking (at 11 1/2 months), turned 1, now likes to run everywhere and most recently decided he wants to climb on EVERYTHING! He keeps me on my toes, that is for sure! It makes me all the more eager to find out what life is like with more children added to the family!
No, seriously, I really am wanting to have more children! At least 3 more! :) I'm beginning to get that itch for baby number two, so Andrew and I are talking about when would be best to start trying! Probably within the next 4-5 months?! Hmmm! We are thinking we should try to wait just a wee bit longer so that when we have our second child, Andrew will be in his last semester of school (3 semesters left!) and therefore, we will be finished paying for school. Of course we are NOT God, and if I get pregnant this month, He will most certainly provide for our every need! And besides, we're not doing a whole lot in the way of trying to prevent getting pregnant, so who knows?! All I know is that God has truly blessed us by giving us Daniel (a honeymoon souvenir!), and whether or not he gives us more children, we will never cease to give him praise! :)
I can't believe how quickly Daniel is growing and developing. It's amazing how much he catches on to what we say and do now! I mean really, he understands a whole lot, and is beginning to communicate so more and more! The other day I put Daniel's coat on, and walked away for a second before zipping it up. I came back to him and he had grabbed the ends on both sides of the coat and was trying to put them together to zip it up himself! What a smartie pants! :) I won't bore you with every little detail of his growth, though I easily could! But I am just completely blown away every day by how much he is growing and learning. It is an amazing thing how God creates and developes little bodies and minds, from the womb to the grave! What a great and mighty God we serve!

The Road Less Traveled

The other night as I lie in bed I found myself thanking the Lord for many undeserved blessings he has poured out upon me. And as I came to the blessing of my husband I found myself amazed and even tearful as I thanked God for giving me such a husband as Andrew. I don't intend for this post to be some sort of "worship" of my husband, but rather I hope to give all honor and praise to God who has shaped and formed my husband from the day he was conceived in his mother's womb, until even now as he shapes his character to reflect that of Christ.

My husband, as many already know, is not an average 21 year old college boy. In fact, my husband has taken the road less traveled among men his age. Presently, Andrew is 21 years old, has been married for 1 year and 7 months, has a 10 month old son (do the math, he's a honeymoon blessing!), works two jobs to support his family, and goes to school full time. Of course, when Andrew first intended to propose to me he was counseled on many sides (Christian and non-Christian alike) not to get married yet. He was counseled to wait at least until he was finished with school, but even more preferably to wait until he got a good steady job out of college and had some money saved up before he tied the knot. Then he would be more comfortable and his responsibilities would become well... less of a burden! Andrew was never counseled (with very few exceptions) to absolutely get married if he felt truly called to do so and if he was biblically ready to be married. He was never encouraged to be sacrificial in taking on such responsibility, but rather to be selfish, waiting until taking on responsibility wouldn't be so "hard." Thankfully, my husband listened to God, proposed to me, and married me 6 months later!

Now when people see us, they think Andrew is crazy! What kind of 21 year old would willingly give up bachelorhood to raise a family?! Andrew could easily still be in the dorms at school, working a part time job, goofing off and just cruising through life. But he didn't choose that path, and the word used to describe Andrew more often than not by others is "crazy" or "insane." But why is that? Why can't people look at Andrew and see what godly character he has? Why can't people see how devoted to his God and family he is, and see how hard he works without a single complaint, knowing God has blessed him with work in order to honor Christ and provide for his family? Unfortunately that's not the first thing MOST people see. Again, I'm not saying this to idolize my husband, but mostly to remind myself (and others) how faithful God is that He would even give men like Andrew such grace and such a heart to do what is honorable, even though it may be incredibly difficult at times.

Because people are right. It is hard to be married, still be in school and have a family! We're not denying that it isn't difficult! As I speak Andrew is at work on less than 5 hours of sleep, broken up between working 3rd shift at UPS and classes this morning. It's incredibly hard for Andrew and myself! But, despite the difficulty, you would not believe how much Christ has sanctified us, and how many opportunities we have had to see how truly faithful God is to his children! Opportunities we would have missed out on had we not had such trials. God is so much more precious to us now than ever before, and I would not miss out on the hardships of a busy, tiring and trying life for the sake of ease. Christ is so beautiful, and it is only by his amazing grace that Andrew and I can endure through these "insane" days and see His beauty!

So if you ever meet a young man who has taken the road less traveled and is providing for a wife and child(ren), don't look at him like he's crazy. Shake his hand, look him in the eye, and tell him how his example encourages you to look to Christ more than if he had just been the typical 20-something guy who could care less about responsibility and honor. Whether you think a certain path would be easier than another, never underestimate the plans God has for his children. The path to richest blessing is the one which teaches you to depend upon God more than you have ever needed before!

Just as a side note, I am NOT saying that every single 20 year old guy in college should get married! I truly do believe that some men do indeed need to wait to get married, either because they are not biblically ready to do so, or because God is using him in a great way as a single man through his college years, and possibly even beyond! I know several incredibly godly men who went all through college single and still are single, and their lives absolutely reflect Christ! But I also know all too many guys who date girls on end and have no intention of taking on responsibility. So please know, I would be foolish to think there is only one mold for all Christian men! But our society has had a negative effect on our young man and has done serious damage.

Love Grows Love by Caedmon's Call

I first heard this song when I was about a week or so away from delivering Daniel. I just started bawling when I heard it! It is now one of my favorite songs ever.

you said to put on a happy face on a high school stage
but I read what you really meant in your handwriting on a Bible
waited like you told me though we knew it right away,
it took eight and a half more years to finally say
I fell in love with you and that love became something new
it keeps getting stronger than we ever could have longed love keeps growing more love

when we got the news we had to call our families
and start painting the room a nice, bright blue
our vows they started breathing and they took on flesh and blood
and we held them in our arms and tasted God was good
I fell in love with you and that love became something new
it added a name and it added a smile it keeps getting bigger every further mile
there on your bended knee we sewed the seeds of our history
they're coming up stronger than we ever could have longed
love keeps growing more love

if love is an echo of the heart the heart is a canyon
that stretches wild and free without an end
and breaks through every wall that holds us in

I'm on the other side of the world to see what changed you so
my heart breaks with the broken and it dances with the hope
you told me I would find here but I could not understand
until I'm walking here beside you hand in hand

Christ looks at the heart!

In our women's Bible study at church we are going through the book of Matthew. A common theme that runs through this book is Christ's desire for the heart of the man to be clean, rather than just having an outward appearance of holiness. Christ confronts the Pharisees and Scribes for their hard heartedness and their willingness to break the commandments of God for the traditions of man.

We just read an example of this last Tuesday in Matthew 15. The Pharisees and Scribes came to Jesus in this passage of Scripture, and complained that the disciples break the tradition of men by not washing their hands before they eat. Apparently this was a big deal to them and was cause for scorn. I just LOVE Christ's response to this in verse 3 "And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God commanded, 'honor your father and your mother,' and, 'whoever reviels father or mother must surely die.' But you say, 'If anyone tells his father or his mother, what you would have gained from me is given to God, he need not honor his father.' So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the Word of God. You hypocrites!..." So instead of giving out of their abundance to help out their father or mother, they claim that their money is dedicated to God, and therefore they don't have to honor their parents by providing for them. This is not what God's Word teaches! However, for the Pharisees, as long as outwardly they look like they are really doing a service to God by dedicating their money to God, then they are in the clear. They look pious and therefore they ingnore the commandment of God! It is truly amazing how hard our hearts can be (because we are just like the Pharisees ourselves).

Christ's whole point is that our outward piety will never gain any pleasure from God, no matter how hard we try! We need Christ to transform our hearts, so that we no longer desire the applause of man, but the pleasure of Christ. Of course as Christians we know this, but how often do we forget? I forget too often, and even as a believer in the saving work of Christ I act as though I must work to remain in favor with God. Sure I believe that because of Christ's work I am saved, but then I act as though I need to work to impress God to remain in God's favor! But just as Christ saves us, he also sustains us! We are found in Him and His righteousness and thus can never loose favor with God! What an amazing truth that we can hold dear! I am so thankful for Christ. So THANKFUL!

"Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled? But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the HEART, and this defiles a person. For ourt of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone." vv 17-20.

Amazing

Being a mother is amazing. I am still in disbelief that God has blessed Andrew and I with the gift of parenthood! One year ago when Andrew and I married, I could not picture life being different than just the two of us. It was quite fun being able to do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. We could go out for a late night date or easily leave town for a long weekend if we wanted too. Even when we found out we were expecting, a whole three weeks after we were married, it was still hard to imagine adding another member to our family!

Now, almost 3 months since Daniel was born, I can hardly remember what life was like before he was born! And I say this with joy! I don't look back on those days, as short as they were, and long for them! I look at the amazing life we have ahead of us with eager expectation! What a privilege to raise a child. To teach him to love God and to serve Him throughout the course of his life is one of the greatest blessings of life, next to marriage. O that we would have the wisdom and strength needed to direct Daniel and his brothers and sisters to come (Lord willing, of course)!

It has recently become quite a passion of mine to really stand up for the gift of children. It seems our culture has been trained to view children more as an inconvenience rather than a blessing. In fact, "mother nature" has become more valued than children! It seems we need to stop populating the earth so that nature does not become destroyed. What a bunch of hog wash! Although I am all for taking care of God's creation, I do believe that human beings are the greatest creation of all, and are of considerable more value than plants and animals. How backwards our society has become!

Anyway, people who have several children, pretty much from 4 on, are criticized and looked upon as crazy. How in the world can a person expect to think and care for their own selves when they have so many children to look after? Well, perhaps the whole purpose of our life here on earth is not to think of ourselves and our comfort, but to serve others and glorify God by producing more children who will in turn grow up and glorify God with their lives! But this isn't the thinking of modern Americans. Their thinking is more like, "A Boy for me,a girl for you, praise the Lord, now we're through!" Sigh... I guess I'm really just ranting more than anything, but I truly feel like raising a family full of children is such a blessing and a good thing! I know that God sometimes closes the womb of some, and that is in now way a reflection of their character, but for the majority of Americans, it is simply a matter of choice to be more comfortable over investing their lives in children.

When Andrew and I were at the airport a week ago, on our way to Minnesota, we were sitting next to a woman with a 8-month old little girl. We chatted a little bit and made some small talk about our children. She then asked us how many children we wanted to have. I replied that we probably wanted 5 or 6 children if the Lord was willing. Her eyes grew huge and she said, "that many?! Why do you want that many?!" She then made clear that this little girl was their first and ONLY child. Now I of course can't judge the hearts of her and her husband, but gleaning from such a reaction, they simply did not want to have to invest more of their lives into more children. Is this selfish? I don't know, I think it is, but that will probably make people mad!

I pray this thinking will not infiltrate the church, although it already has begun. Hopefully more and more Christians will glean from God's Word that children are truly a blessing and privilege and raising them is a wonderful calling. A high calling! I pray the Lord will continue to bless Andrew and I will more children in the future!