Homeschooling, year 1

    Ah, Diet Coke.  We have quite the love-hate relationship.  On one hand, I love the delicious calorie free taste.  It is a treat I definitely enjoy on occasion.  On the other hand, because of it's calorie-free nature, it's also actually incredibly unhealthy, and rumor has it, could potentially cause cancer.  Awesome.  Yet, I continue to drink it.  Of course I try to justify myself with the fact that I really don't drink it that often.  I don't buy it on a regular basis.  In fact, I never keep it in the house, and typically only drink it on dates with Andrew, or when I shop at Target.   Nevertheless, it's delicious, and so I enjoy it.
    This post really isn't about Diet Coke, I promise.  It just happens to be the reason I am writing tonight.  Part of the love-hate relationship we share is that the caffeine in the Diet Coke has been known to keep my mind buzzing if I drink it after a certain point in the evening.  Ten o'clock at night is definitely way too late. Therefore instead of sleeping, I find myself writing.  So, I decided to write about our first year of homeschooling.  From Diet Coke to homeschooling.  This should be interesting!
   I certainly don't think I have much wisdom or insight to offer on subject of homeschooling.  I'm still a rookie, without a doubt, and have much to learn.  I have, however, learned a few lessons this last year, and thought I would share a few things for any who might be interested.  Only be aware that I'm   learning and growing, and still trying to figure this whole homeschool life out.  However, despite challenges, hardships, and a lot of discouraging days, know that most of all, I love it.
    I will begin where most first time home school mom's begin.  Delusion.  Ah yes, that picture of delightful, domestic bliss.   As I eagerly poured over the curriculum I chose for Daniel's kindergarten year, I excitedly charted out the whole first month of lesson plans, writing everything out neatly in my notebook.  I couldn't wait to start.  Visions of my children seated happily at our kitchen table with bright sunlight pouring into room filled my mind.  The baby happily hanging on my hip, I would joyfully practice Bible memory verses with my children, do fun crafts, and most exciting of all, teach Daniel to read!  Oh it was going to be great! 
    Well, that picture in my mind lasted a week.  Maybe two.  The reality of it was that life was messy.  Children are messy.  Tantrums interrupt lessons, babies cry, children spill water all over their papers and, quite conveniently, they always have to poop right when you are starting math lessons (yes, I'm serious).  Don't get me wrong, there were great days.  Days where the baby napped really well, Micah sat well with his stickers and markers, and Daniel absorbed everything like a sponge.  The day he read his first book was great.  I was so proud of him.  And best of all, the Lord was using me to teach him to read!  I'm telling you, there were great days.  But there were also hard days.  Days when I would have to go to my room, close my door, sit on the floor and cry.  And pray.  There is nothing like being a mother, and adding to that, your child's teacher to bring out the worst in you.  I was not always patient and joyful in every circumstance.  There were days when I would just lose it after Daniel dropped his pencil on the floor for the 100th time.  I mean, is it really that hard to keep you pencil on the table?  Oh yeah.  He's 5.  :) 
    By the end of the year, Daniel has read more than a dozen books.  He flew through his Kindergarten phonics curriculum, and finished his Kindergarten year halfway through the 1st grade phonics curriculum.  He ended the year sitting at the table, able to complete a whole page of math addition facts, completely on his own while I could get dinner prepped or wash dishes.  At the beginning of the year, I had to spend every second next to him helping him along.  By the end of the year, he could read the instructions for his math worksheets almost entirely by himself.  So somewhere in the midst of those awesome days and those difficult days, there must have been some learning going on.  And by God's grace, the learning was not only on Daniel's end.  I am pretty sure that I have actually learned more than him. 
   I have learned that despite repeated failures, I can still turn to the cross.  I can come to the end of a terrible day, and know that Christ is still my savior.  He keeps me in His love.  I will never be apart from Him.  He will never turn me away when I have failed yet again, and tell me that I screwed up too many times.  No, I am His beloved, He has bought me with His blood, and my pardon is sure.  Praise the Lord for the Gospel.   What a sweet assurance!!  My security in Christ is not dependent upon my performance.  It's dependent upon the perfect and precious blood of Christ.  That is my true, unfading, ever present joy, even in the midst of hard days.  Thank you, Jesus!
   I have also learned just how dependent I am upon the Lord for everything.  I have been learning this from my experiences thus far from being a mom.  Now, even more so, I am learning it as I homeschool my children.  I am weak, and frail, but Christ is strong.  He is able to fill me, and work through me, by His grace, and through His power, so that He might receive the glory.   So many times I thought about this verse in 2 Corinthians:  " 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my  power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamaties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong" (vv. 9,10).  I am weak!  I see it every day.  But as the Lord gives me grace and strength, I am able to get to the end of a year, and say, "see!  Look at God!  He has been so faithful!  He has given me all that I needed!  In my weakness, He was shown great!"  That is ultimately what I want my life, my mothering, my homeschooling years to be about.  God is great.  He is faithful, and patient, and strong when I am weak.  To Him be the glory!
   I look forward to the next year with a little bit of that same delusion.  It's a fresh start, a fresh slate, new curriculum that I'm really excited about, and more sunshine to pour in through my windows.  The baby is another year older and will probably sit at the table (or climb on it rather) and make more of a mess than I can imagine.  But I still envision a delightful year to come.  I also expect many difficult days to come along with many wonderful days, and more than likely, many average, mundane days.  But I know that Christ will be my strength, my help, and my portion.
 
 "Who have I in heaven but you?  And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."  (Psalm 73:25,26)